Happy 40th birthday, Shonnie!

Who would have guessed the path we would travel together when we committed to one another 15 years ago? First of all, we have supported each other to discover and fully live our life’s purpose. And in doing so, you became a coach and I became a writer.

In addition, we ran the equivalent of four marathons, moved from Austin to Asheville, consciously chose a simpler existence, wrote a widely-acclaimed book, created our home as our sanctuary, adopted three feline family members . . . and lost four others.

And most extraordinary of all, at your urging, we brought our darling Gracelyn into the world, giving you the opportunity to fully express your unconditional love, wisdom, generosity and patience as well as the willingness to provide Gracelyn the nurturing, support and space to grow into exactly who she’s meant to be.

I love you with all my heart, all my soul and all my spirit and look forward to the blessings of our family’s next 15 years together.

—Bruce (better known around here as Dada)

Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

Thanksgiving with Occupy Asheville at Jubilee!

Shonnie, Gracelyn and I are back home from Jubilee! where this afternoon a number of Jubilants provided a Thanksgiving meal for folks involved in the Occupy Asheville movement. Howard Hanger, Minister of Ritual and Celebration, at Jubilee! organized the event, and more than 50 people joined in to break bread together. Howard led us in a blessing prior to the meal that acknowledged the Occupiers and what they are up to, and after we’d finished eating, a number of the activists shared their thoughts about events so far.

The folks who spoke were, for the most part, young, passionate, gracious and articulate, not at all like the stereotypes (destitute, scruffy, muddled, uncouth, aggressive) that some are trying to foist on us. I was particularly moved by the young man who said that the current culture is not working for the 99% but it’s not working for the 1% either, that the greed of the 1% was merely a way of trying to contend with a deeper yearning, but that owning the latest and best toys could not fill the hole in their soul.

At the end of our gathering I thanked the Occupiers for joining us, for what they were doing . . . for themselves, for us, for the folks who may not yet understand what they’re doing, for our nation, for the world. Then we joined hands, and one person squeezed the hand of the person next to them, and the squeeze was passed around the circle until it came back to its initiator.

To me, it seems that a spark has been lit, and an undeniable movement is in motion . . . perhaps just in the nick of time. For the analogy that I think fits is this: As a people we are in an automobile headed toward a cliff at 100 miles an hour. In the next election, if the Republicans were to take control of the House, Senate and Presidency, the speed toward the cliff might increase to 120 miles per hour. If the Democrats take the House, Senate and Presidency, the speed of the auto might decrease to 95 miles per hour. Either way, we’re still headed toward the cliff.

It’s become evident that, at best, our national leaders are capable of incremental change. But nibbling around the edges of critical issues such as climate change, peak oil and the state of our economy will not suffice, not in these perilous times. It’s up to us. The time is now.

Thursday, November 24th, 2011

Gracelyn is 13 months old today!

Gracelyn turns 13 months old today and has attained a number of milestones:

• At her 12-month check up, Gracelyn weighed 19 pounds, six ounces (20th to 30th percentile) and was 30 inches long (80th to 90th percentile).
• She’s now walking quite well and made it all the way from our mailbox back to our home yesterday, a walk of at least 200 yards.
• Gracelyn has a vocabulary approaching 10 words, including cat, ball, mama, dada, baby, peeka-peeka (peek-a-boo) and bye-bye. She even strung her first (and so far only) sentence so far—“Mama bye-bye.”
• She also uses a number of signs, including eat, more, all done, nurse, potty, hat, flower, good-bye, throwing kisses and no. She can also sign for spider, frog, and fish, and she says “moo” if you ask her what sound a cow makes.

Like most parents, we think our child is absolutely remarkable. Gracelyn is a funny, perceptive, observant, curious, engaging, trusting, compassionate, secure, resilient, self-possessed, fearless child who makes what she wants very clear. And not that we don’t hit bumps from time to time, but times with her are typically playful and fun-filled. She has a great sense of humor and laughs and squeals with exuberance when she’s delighted about something.

Gracelyn also enjoys playing with her collection of balls—throwing them, kicking them, rolling them back and forth to us. And she is enthralled with our feline family members, crying out “cah, cah” and walking over to pet them whenever they come in from outdoors. Bandit, Desmond and Kaali have been extremely loving and patient with Gracelyn as she’s learned how to gently express her love toward them. She revels in her bike rides with Shonnie. And Gracelyn really loves peek-a-boo—with us, with the cats and even with strangers.

Like her parents, Gracelyn is also a book person. She enjoys picking out books for us to read to her and she spends time looking through her books by herself. She and Shonnie read several books each evening as part of their bedtime ritual. We’re very fortunate to have a huge collection of children’s books—gifts from friends and relatives, some from Shonnie’s childhood and many from Shonnie’s mom, Cora Sue, who was a teacher and aspiring children’s book author.

Some of the things we’ve learned in the past 13 months

1. Babies thrive when they are physically and emotionally close to their parents, especially their mothers, and this is very important early on. It’s the way humans and other mammals have done it for hundreds of thousands of years, that is until we started intellectualizing parenting and designing ways to be with our offspring for our own convenience.
2. Babies do best when they sleep with their parents, snuggled up nice and close. And, no, we have no fear of rolling over onto Gracelyn. We’re very aware of her presence even when we’re sleeping.
3. To be strong and healthy, babies do best with the sustenance that’s perfect for them—mama’s breast milk, and they need it on demand, not on some contrived schedule. However, early on Gracelyn also wanted to eat what we were eating at mealtime, so with a few exceptions, that’s exactly what she now gets (in addition to the usual breast milk).
4. Babies dislike sitting around in wet and poopy diapers. For that reason, we taught Gracelyn to signal when she needs to use the potty, and she usually roams around at home bare bottomed.
5. Babies and toddlers need to explore their environment, even when the parents are uncomfortable with it. This includes putting almost everything they come across in their mouths to see how it tastes and feels. Among other objects, Gracelyn has had river rocks, mulch, acorns, grass and weeds and dry cat food in her mouth and (to the best of our knowledge) has swallowed none of it.
6. Crying indicates that there is a need to be met—hunger, too much/too little stimulation, fatigue, etc.—and we want Gracelyn to know that we are trustworthy, loving, caring, reliable and intend to respond to her needs as soon possible. Thus leaving her to “cry it out” is not an option.

Of course, we’re also learning about the complexities of living as a triad rather than a dyad. But more about that in a later post.

Friday, October 7th, 2011

The candidates I support in the Asheville Primary Election

Early voting has already begun in the Asheville Primary, and if you live in Asheville I hope you’ll get out and vote.

In this election we have an opportunity to elect three progressive candidates to represent us and the best interests of our community:

Chris Pelly: http://chrispellyforcitycouncil.com/

Lael Gray: http://www.laelgrayforcitycouncil.com/

Marc Hunt: http://www.huntforcouncil.com/

You can read about each of these candidates and all the others at Scrutiny Hooligans:  http://scrutinyhooligans.us/

These are the candidates I intend to vote for, and I hope you’ll give them your serious consideration as well. Info re voting is below.

Wednesday, September 28th, 2011

Talk Like a Pirate Day–September 19!

Avast ye lubbers! It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day tomorrow, September 19. Feast your eyeballs on the instructional video below, and you’ll be well-prepared for the big day.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=OfficialWench#p/u/2/2cKCkbWDGwE

Sunday, September 18th, 2011

Happy Labor Day?

Today is Labor Day, and according to the U.S. Department of Labor:

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.

But according to Lindsay Curren at Transition Voice:

This year, it’s become especially ironic that we’ll be observing Labor Day. Or perhaps the better word is anachronistic. In fact, I’m surprised there isn’t a movement afoot to change Labor Day to National Employers Day, or Job Gratitude Day. I’ll expect the US Chamber of Commerce to get right on that as part of their union busting — uh, sorry — job-creation agenda.

Not only are today’s jobs and wages flat, or disappearing, but yesterday’s workers are berated by the chattering class as a worthless mob of losers whose only real contribution to America was to cost the companies they worked for too much and force them, oh so reluctantly, to move their factories to China.

Yep, that sounds about right to me.

Finally for your Labor Day enjoyment, the famous “I’ll be there” scene from the film Grapes of Wrath based on John Steinbeck’s Pulitzer Prize winning novel and starring Henry Fonda as Tom Joad.

Monday, September 5th, 2011

Life at the office

Since I’m the oldest person in the group I’m officing with (by several decades), today’s Dilbert cartoon has special meaning.

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

Truly a Gentle Man: The Life and Times of Mack Mulkey

During his life, Mack Ross Mulkey was a son, a student, an athlete, a lover, a husband, a soldier, a father, an engineer, a manager, a coach, a grandfather, a mentor, a concerned citizen, a community leader, a gardener, a great grandfather, and perhaps, most of all, a gentle man. This is not an attempt to chronicle all of Mack’s life or to tell his entire story. It is an attempt to describe who Mack Mulkey was and how he affected our lives, in our words and, occasionally, his.

EARLY YEARS
Mack was born to Leta and Dunham Mulkey on February 19, 1922 in Fort Worth, Texas. He grew up in Fort Worth, occasionally living with his grandparents, John and Helen Clayton, (better known as Papaw and Mamaw) on their farm east of the city. Belva Clayton, a relative, sometimes resident of the Clayton home, and chronicler of the Clayton family history tells the following story in her book Thomas Nelson Clayton: His Descendants, His Ancestors.

This man (John Clayton) had the greatest zest for living of anyone I ever met. . . At one time he owned a big red dog named Rover. Rover certainly was not unusual, just a big old dog, but we liked him. Rover took sick and died. Uncle John, Roe Junior, Mack Ross and I took the dog down into the okra patch to bury him. While Uncle John was digging a hole for the burial, he casually remarked that we shouldn’t just bury Rover, but that we should have some sort of service; so, Roe Junior recited a poem, and Mack Ross sang The Eyes of Texas are Upon You and Cheer Boys, Cheer. Uncle John and I were the mourners.

Mack’s mother, Leta remembers Mack as a child in this manner.

Oh, he was a wonderful little boy. . . He didn’t play ball or anything like that very much. He was a real good boy. He didn’t chum with a whole bunch of boys. He was just real quiet and real good.

Dunham Mulkey retired from the duties of fatherhood when Mack was still an infant. Dunham later died of a heart attack at the age of 36.

My mother said that he (Dunham) never really realized he was married. He just went about his bachelor ways. . . . At the age of two, they (Leta and Dunham) divorced, and . . . I went to live my grandparents, the Claytons.

–Mack Mulkey

As a teenager, Mack lived with his mother in Dallas, earning money delivering newspapers. He graduated from North Dallas High School in 1939. Mack did not distinguish himself as a student, but he loved sports and played baseball, football, and basketball at every opportunity. After high school, Mack briefly attended the University of Texas at Austin and played baseball there. (more…)

Sunday, June 19th, 2011