Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.
A merely fallen enemy may rise again, but the reconciled one is truly vanquished.
~Mother Teresa
The Middle East peace process. What an oxymoron! Leaders, even some Nobel Peace Prize winners, call out for peace. But the killing continues. Suicide bombers slaughter dozens of unsuspecting diners in seaside cafes; bulldozers reduce humble homes to rubble, crushing their occupants inside. And there’s no end yet in sight.
Contrast this scenario with the ongoing process in South Africa: blacks and whites living together in peace. Shortly after the release of Nelson Mandela from prison and the democratic elections of 1994, courageous folks from opposing political factions decided to reconcile their differences rather than persist in armed struggle. South Africa certainly has its challenges to overcome; civil war, however, is not among them.
So why have the South Africans been successful in creating understanding between followers of the African National Congress, the National Party, and the Conservative Party while the Palestinians and the Israelis have not achieved similar goals in their own lands? One might think that the Israelis and the Palestinians, with their similar cultures and geographic origins, would have better odds of finding common ground than whites transplanted from another continent and the native blacks of South Africa. It’s as simple as this: a willingness to let go of long-standing resentments and to forgive.
In 1995 the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission was set up “to enable South Africans to come to terms with their past on a morally accepted basis and to advance the cause of reconciliation.” In his address to the first gathering of the commission, Archbishop Desmond Tutu stated that: “Freedom and justice must become realities for all our people, and we have the privilege of helping to heal the hurts of the past, to transcend the alienations and the hostilities of that past so that we can close the door on that past and concentrate in the present and our glorious future.” And to a great extent South Africans have done so. People who had committed acts of violence, gross human rights violations, and other politically motivated offenses have disclosed their actions before the commission; sufferers were given an opportunity to respond and seek reparations; and amnesty was granted to those who participated in the process and were adjudged to have given “full disclosure.” The people of this nation chose to move forward rather than cling to the hurt and hatred aroused by apartheid.
Meanwhile, the half-century cycle of death and destruction continues unabated in the Middle East despite the protestations of political leaders on all sides that peaceful coexistence is the desired outcome.
As one of my mentors, Brad Brown, has said, “Our results are, in fact, our true intentions.” The people of South Africa have created exactly the results that they have sought—reconciliation and peace. And, consciously or unconsciously, the Israelis and Palestinians have created the results they want too—hostility and armed struggle. As soon as these warring parties truly desire something different, they can create it. But not until they are willing to liberate themselves from the imprisonment of their well-worn grievances, held firmly in place by self-righteousness, judgmentalism, and spurious beliefs.
When individuals, groups, or nations take on the belief that they are the chosen people, it becomes easy to pretend that others are somehow less significant. It becomes second nature to judge different cultures and lifestyles as unnatural and objectionable. Then when conflicts arise the chosen ones robotically demonize the “enemy” and begin to regard them as subhuman. They willingly set out to exterminate their “foe” and refer euphemistically to the slaughter of noncombatants as “collateral damage.”
Rather than promoting the belief that “we are the one,” might we not be better served by acknowledging that “we are all one”? For in truth we are all part of the web of life; there are no divisions except those we make up in our minds. Consequently we are confronted with an awesome choice: Will we choose to continue down the path of vengeful retribution and self-annihilation? Or will we choose to let go of fear, hatred, and resentment and move toward reconciliation, respect, and love . . . for one another, and for all living things?
No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
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