My story and I'm sticking with it

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I was born in Fort Worth, Texas in 1943, but grew up in Tennessee. After a 10-year sojourn back to Texas, in 1997 I was lured to the ancient Appalachian Mountains, the lively mountain city of Asheville, North Carolina, and the friendly folks who live here. And while I'm committed to my community, I don't think I'll be trading my Volunteer orange for Carolina blue anytime soon.

My family

Most of my immediate family also lives in the southeast. My mother, Sue, my sister, Nancy, her husband, Mike, and their family still live in our hometown of Tullahoma, Tennessee. My brother, Art and his wife, Eve live in Florida. Most of my nephews and nieces and their children are also scattered throughout the region. However, my daughter, Lilla, her husband, Brandon, my grand-daughter, Molly and my grandson, Jack, now reside in Kansas, Toto.

A very brief history

In the '40s I was brought into the world by my Mom and Dad, idolized Roy Rogers, longed to be a cowboy, started school, loved my great-grandmother's visits, and got my first bike. In the '50s I got a B-B gun, shot my brother in the foot and had it taken away (the B-B gun), was smitten with Annette Funicello, became an Eagle Scout, took up football and basketball, and purchased my first car for $35. In the '60s I inhaled, went to college, played football, got married, had a child (Lilla), went to work, and worked for peace. In the '70s I started my own construction company, took up handball, drank a lot, and began backpacking in the Smokies. In the '80s I went bankrupt, got divorced, got remarried, participated in the Life Training, discovered my spirituality, moved to Texas, and made lots of friends there. In the '90s I finally took full responsibility for my life, regained my integrity, got divorced (again), learned to take myself more lightly, lost my Dad, gained my grand-daughter and grandson, ran a couple of marathons, and met Shonnie Lavender training for one.

The present

Now, at the age of 61, I remain an avid athlete, playing handball several times a week and running nearby mountain trails at least weekly with Shonnie. I earn my living as the communications director of Sisters of Mercy Urgent Care, Inc., a not-for-profit healthcare provider. I also write a biweekly e-newsletter in which I advocate personal responsibility, compassion , justice and sustainability. And I nurture my spirituality by attending Jubilee!, meditating, participating in groups and workshops, writing, reading, and hanging out with our six cats. For laughs I watch Seinfeld reruns, South Park, and the Simpson's and read the Dilbert cartoons and Dave Barry. I am a big University of Tennessee football fan and a fervent supporter of the Lady Vols basketball team.

The woman of my dreams

Several years ago, I was living alone in a little cottage on Mt. Bonnell in Austin, Texas. It was during this time that I began a conscious process of determining the attributes I wanted in a mate. It was a long list, but around ten items on the list were absolutely non-negotiable, including authenticity, integrity, compassion, physical attractiveness, athleticism, and commitment to personal growth. I spent several years waiting for this woman to appear.

Though it really wasn't love at first sight (We ran together for a year in a marathon training group before we ever went on a date.), and I had some beliefs to deal with about our age difference (28 years! Wow, a bi-generational couple.), I eventually knew that Shonnie had shown up in my life at just the right moment, that she was the woman I had envisioned. On May 30, 1999, we were married at Bend of Ivy Lodge near Marshall, North Carolina.